stuff | Following my heart

I saw this at a not very posh furniture shop and thought about it- a lot. It is trying hard to be something it is definitely not. It is new furniture trying to look as if it is old- with mismatched bits like some cheap chic but ends up looking like an embarrassed DIY effort or worse.

I wondered if we also do this same thing with how we present ourselves- trying too hard to be something we are not. When we imitate others, or present an image of us that is not authentic, not true to ourselves. It is worth keeping this photo in mind when we look at others, celebrities and other famous people, trying to be them. You can only be you, warts and all- that is what this photo teaches me.

On the other hand, yesterday trying to do some Kintsugi with broken pottery, I realised trying to be something else or expressing something that is not natural, is not an easy thing to do. Trying to suppress our authentic selves is very hard- one has to be in control all the time. In the Kintsugi workshop, I started out with the aim of making something practical with the broken bits and ended up tearing up the rule book and making something quite impractical, but now I realise that is totally me. I loved the result- hope you do too!

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When I am tired, I can be very forgetful. Yesterday, after attending a very inspiring conference on a subject dear to my heart, I left all the handouts somewhere. Typically we can do the following things when we lose stuff-

1. Berate ourselves

2. Forget and let go

3. Try to find them again

Well, the first option is never a good idea- only of course, we must never be so tired that we don’t know what we are doing. The other two options are interesting. With my lost papers, I could have just let them go- after all, yesterday I had written about acceptance. I did remember the most important points from the papers that were memorable to me, so it was fine. I think, sometimes instead of things, we have to lose people too- people who have become toxic to us. It is not a loss- it is a gain then.

In this case, I decided to see if I could either find the papers or get duplicates. The process was most interesting. I emailed some people who I otherwise would not have and and received nice messages from them. I learnt about the valuable work these people were doing. I realised that I had connected to some nice people only because I lost some papers. I learnt what I valued about the conference and remembered what I had to without any paper reference. Great stuff- I think. We all have heard those stories when people deliberately leave something in someone’s house when they really want to get in touch with them on the pretext of finding their lost things. Now I see lost things in a different way- a positive thing, a way of making connections and finding out about myself.

So next time you lose something, do think about doing the last two options- that is creativity!